By: Sandhya Paul, VMware

 

With working women striving to find a balance between work and home post covid, new dynamics of working style viz. time management, stress management started emerging.

I was one of these women, looking for ways to lead myself out of the clutter. That’s when I was selected for the Inclusive Leadership Development Program (ILDP). I realized I had achieved so much through this program – both tangible and intangible. Of the many skills learned, I would like to share some.

 

The first lesson I learned was how we come together as a society. For that, understanding one’s self is crucial. We can strengthen personal and professional relationships with a better understanding of ourselves. With stronger relationships, we can create a collaborative environment where people can be happier and more productive. The key to a successful family and society is to lead one’s self before leading others – ME (Lead self), WE (Lead together through collaboration), THEM (Lead others)

 

ME (Personality insight) – After several interactions with coaches from Navagati, I was given a meticulous analysis of my personality. I came to understand how to leverage my strengths and how to work on my focus areas.

 

WE (Collaboration and relationships)
The drama triangle is a psychological model for understanding unhealthy roles people play in relationships. The three roles are as follows

1. Victim (“Self-pity”) – Victims often feel incapable of handling situations and challenges. They avoid taking responsibility for their circumstances and don’t think they have the power to change their lives.
2. Rescuer (“Help others”) – Rescuers make victims dependent and neglect their own needs. Therefore, they often find themselves pressured, tired and may not have time to finish their tasks.
3. Persecutor (“Criticize others”) – Persecutors blame the victims and criticize the rescuers without providing appropriate guidance, assistance, or a solution to the problem. They are inflexible, critical, and controlling.

Learning about the drama triangle helped me develop a more collaborative spirit by avoiding staying away from unhealthy roles in relationships.

 

THEM (Nurture People) – Steven Covey once said that the greatest need of a human being is to be validated and appreciated. Appreciating people by giving them positive strokes increases their productivity. Strokes can be conveyed through words of affirmation, quality time, tangible gifts, physical touch, and acts of service. Practicing giving strokes and accepting them gave me the ability to add value to the people around me.

If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together!

Having learned the basic principles of building self (ME) and building people around us (WE and THEM), I learned the importance of networking. Leadership networking is about building relationships and creating alliances to achieve goals. Intentionally developing, maintaining, and using contacts and alliances is at the heart of networking.

 

Elevator pitch (Creating network)
The elevator pitch is a short introductory description of what a person is and attempts to earn a follow-up conversation/action. Practicing my elevator pitch gave me the confidence to introduce myself to my peers across geographies and business units at various levels.

 

Business storytelling (Connecting with the audience and building allies) Stories help parents connect with children and audiences with movies. Professionals need to connect with stakeholders, customers, and peers.

The basics of storytelling are as follows:

1. Speak to emotions – Emotions help people make decisions. Logic is merely used to justify those decisions.
2. Establish a common connection with the audience – Operate using empathy and get the audience to nod in agreement.
3. Highlight contrast – After establishing empathy, use contrast carefully to highlight the difference in circumstances and steer towards action to bridge the gap.
4. Give before you ask and give more than you ask. Give the audience/stakeholders a sense of purpose/vision before asking them to act.
5. Express with confidence

 

Over and above these skills, the program gave me a conducive environment to be vulnerable and express myself.

All the wonderful women I met in this program – mentors, peers, and coaches taught me how to navigate challenges with grit. I am very thankful to everyone who was part of this wonderful journey.
I am glad I could share some of the learnings, which have helped me immensely!